Greg and I have decided to split up. It's the end of an era of sorts and I'm sorry if I didn't get a chance to tell you personally before you read this. He's moved out and is living in South Royalton and I'm staying in Bethel for now doing stuff I was doing before, more or less. The split was amicable and mostly mutual but no break-up is ever easy. We're keeping in touch, but mostly at a distance. Greg has written about it a little more on his page -- more detail than I would have included perhaps but it's not something I get to choose -- and I have written about some of the odd ramifications of a break-up in the age of social software over at librarian.net. The decision felt sudden and final, which is probably not a terrible combination. There is no good combination. I'm going to try hard not to write much about it here, not to be secretive or mysterious, but just because for me thinking or discussing these things is better done as a process over time; writing about feelings that are constantly changing is never something I've been good at.
I'm keeping busy, swimming a lot, getting lots of attention from family and friends, and leaving for a New Orleans trip tomorrow morning for a library conference. This will be my last ALA Council meeting and I'm feeling pretty much "It's about time!" Yesterday I got my old Toyota started and out of the carriage shed where it's been stagnating over the winter. I'll put a for sale sign in it when I get back. As much as I love the old car, it's not what it used to be and not what I need right now. Once I realized that my attachment to it was becoming much more sentimental and much less practically useful -- having an unreliable back-up car pretty much defeats the purpose of having a back-up, no? -- the choice I had to make was obvious.
Moving forward, especially in a sort of sudden way like this, always has elements of the scary, the exciting, the bittersweet and the totally wrong-feeling. I have rarely felt so at a loss for words as I do right now, which may mean that it's time to go for a walk and just have some unmediated experience that doesn't come through a screen or require writing or typing or driving or talking. I'm doing okay generally, sometimes great, sometimes lousy, and there's some other interesting stuff going on that I'll write more about when I'm not in straight reporting mode.
If you'd like, send postcards to: PO Box 81, Bethel Vermont 05032. I really love getting mail.
I'm keeping busy, swimming a lot, getting lots of attention from family and friends, and leaving for a New Orleans trip tomorrow morning for a library conference. This will be my last ALA Council meeting and I'm feeling pretty much "It's about time!" Yesterday I got my old Toyota started and out of the carriage shed where it's been stagnating over the winter. I'll put a for sale sign in it when I get back. As much as I love the old car, it's not what it used to be and not what I need right now. Once I realized that my attachment to it was becoming much more sentimental and much less practically useful -- having an unreliable back-up car pretty much defeats the purpose of having a back-up, no? -- the choice I had to make was obvious.
Moving forward, especially in a sort of sudden way like this, always has elements of the scary, the exciting, the bittersweet and the totally wrong-feeling. I have rarely felt so at a loss for words as I do right now, which may mean that it's time to go for a walk and just have some unmediated experience that doesn't come through a screen or require writing or typing or driving or talking. I'm doing okay generally, sometimes great, sometimes lousy, and there's some other interesting stuff going on that I'll write more about when I'm not in straight reporting mode.
If you'd like, send postcards to: PO Box 81, Bethel Vermont 05032. I really love getting mail.
I have read your blog on an off for years now. I really enjoy your creativity and the photos and the fact that you are consistent about updating. You and your (now ex) boyfriend looked so happy and in sync in all the photos. I'm a hopeless romantic and I hope you guys evetually get back together!
24 June, 2006 11:01
24 June, 2006 11:01