an occasional feature

April

A friend told me about a shindig at the Art Museum. Free food and booze. Seems the Seattle Weekly was premiering their new Tech section and has some sort of ads-for-museum-space-for-tony-events agreement with the museum. So I wrangled an invite which was hidden on the web site and took some friends. I am usually the kid in the big overalls sitting outside these events watching the hoi polloi of Seatown suck down canapes with wreckless abandon.

Well ... it was fun but strange. There was a lot of free loot, but no discernible techie tie-in. I mean, I thought I might at least be able to check my email there. For loot me and my accomplices got: nail polish [pictured, what you can't see is that it says "so fresh" on the side. Since when is freshness important for nail polish?], straw cowboy hats [cool but irrelevent], change purses [smelled their vinyly goodness then passed] and pocket protectors [ha ha, original, no?]. Also food and drink and a nice band. I also got to see the Chuck Close Exhibit which was great. However, there were no speeches, no unveiling, no computers anywhere at all. The new issue [with Che on the cover] isn't even really about technology. I didn't really get it, but I assume that's why I wasn't really invited in the first place.

4/25/99

Free Cone Day on the 27th. Now who says this journal isn't useful?

I saw a great movie about Chiapas last night called A Place Called Chiapas. While it had a bit too much talk about the postmodern revolution for my tastes, it was well-done and a great look at the media savvy Zapatistas and the rural poor they represent.

4/22/99

You know, with 50 extra feet of ethernet cable I bet I could do a semi-live broadcast of Odd Stock from my DSL connection. I'm still not sure if the radio folks are going to be here. Looks like there will be some Oddfellows loitering around fixing things and it might not be wise to try to do a pirate radio broadcast from their clubhouse. And I do love this job and corresponding free rent [want free rent? do you mind if it's in Vermont? let me know, openings starting 1/1/00]. I may be an idiod in some ways, but I know a good thing when I see it.

Also, is anyone else but me thinking that they would have enjoyed high school a lot more if they could have wreaked vengeance on the people who used to torture and humiliate them? Don't get me wrong, I think the whole Colorado mess is a tragedy of epic proportions, but at the same time I remember being in high school and getting routinely made fun of every single day for my hair, clothes, walk, friends, or whatever. I've been told in the past that I've never quite gotten over feeling like an ugly fat kid. I blame high school. And there was no ready access to Internet to learn how to make weapons back then. Don't bother trying to register trenchcoatmafia.com.

4/20/99

Got out of jury duty today at 11:30. Piece of cake. Here's the trick: arrive late. Other tip: you can make as many free local phone calls as you want, bring your dayplanner.

No more news here, I have been fidgeting with librarian.net, a work in progress. Does it rule? Does it suck? Let me know.

4/19/99

Today was jury duty day. I'm kind of used to hearing the "one day, one trial" mantra but it turns out that in King County, they have you for two days or one trial. So, I get to go back tomorrow and my saga isn't even over yet. For starters I had to get there at 8 am, which is an hour I usually do not diplomatically recognize. Then once I get there, I realize that the reason they say 8 is in the hopes that most people will arrive by 9. There is a lot of processing time. There are forms to fill out. There are clipboards to borrow and return. If you do not return the clipboard, there are warnings over the PA system taunting you for not returning your clipboard. Like they have something else to do with them, I figure. As if we have all done this a hundred times before [like the lady on the PA system] and are just being recalcitrant by hanging on to our clipboards, perhaps hoping to exchange them for swag later in the day when we run out of coffee and finish our newspapers.

My day as a juror went like this:

• get to the courthouse, get little clipboard, fill out forms
• sit, wait for other people to fill out forms
• eyeball my fellow jurors. Some of them do not even have books -- what are they planning on doing all day?! I decide the answer is "making small talk with me" and move to a corner seat.
• watch juror briefing judge on the TV [he is in the other room, despite being early I am in the overflow room]. He must be new, or have done something bad to deserve this, the way you know the basketball players on the TV anti-drug commercials must have gotten caught with some serious cocaine to have to be telling me that drugs are bad for you. This briefing is common knowledge to anyone who has ever taken social studies ["You may have to sit on a civil case. A civil case is...."]
• watch scary red white and blue video telling me how great it is to be exercising my civic responsibility as a juror. In this video, an elderly woman tries to get out of jury duty until she realizes how easy and fun it will be [do I need to see this? I'm clearly already here], and a Hispanic man who has to go to court for some reason... Hmm, then I started reading my book again.
• book reading is interrupted by a roll call of sorts in which we are assigned numbers and judges. We have to write the numbers down on our little sheets -- how we are to do this without clipboards I will never know -- and write the judge's name down somewhere else, but by god do not write the judge's name on the little sheets! Since I am in the overflow room we have to yell "Here!" at the ceiling since the PA lady is in the other room. They horribly mispronounce my name, I realize no one has asked me for ID.
• this roll call inhibits my ability to read because I am nervous that they will call my name and I will not answer and I will be hauled off the ready jail or be taunted by the PA lady. I get my number. I am twelve.
• Judge whatshisname's people get called out into the hall and have to line up in numerical order. I think this is an icebreaking exercise but listen closely and manage to get in line accurately without having to talk to anyone. I have not spoken to a single other juror yet. If I am chosen to be on a trial I will be the foreman and make everyone thumb wrestle to work out disputes. It will be just like the Breakfast Club.
• as it turns out, my judge is a slacker and doesn't have any cases today so we are all sent home at 10:30. Normally I would just be getting out of bed at this time.

4/18/99

Two shameless plugs:

1. Please come to my party on May first, even if you don't know me. It will be an interesting, well-orchestrated, open mike talent show kind of deal that may or may not be broadcast on the radio. For some reason, I always have free floating anxiety that no one will show up. This is because I am ridiculous, not because these fears are in any way warranted.

2. Consider pledging for Len's AIDS Ride ride. I am volunteering as a crew member [I am a bus liaison and I think this means I get to use a cell phone!] and while I can solicit donations directly I figure I may as well just encourage people to sponsor Len. He has an interesting site on jessamyn.com that we co-administer which documents his training progress. Tell him Jessamyn sent you.

4/16/99

The Matrix is a karate movie. And a sunglasses movie. It was fun to see and did give me a few good minutes of "Woah dude, what if the reality we think of as the real reality isn't real, you know?". Plus there's some neat sneaky stuff hidden on the Matrix web site -- thanks to DejaNews, nothing is truly hidden on the Internet -- which is kinda nifty.

4/15/99

Did my taxes last week, everyone in the library today was not so lucky. It's amazing what a new lease on life being suddenly healthy can give you. I was out at the beach today attempting to fly my bat kite [make mental note: remember weird cross-piece, otherwise bat kite will be bat blob] and just soaking up some much-needed sun. Dealing with the rain all winter is worth it to see the look on everyone's faces once they realize the sun is going to be with us for five months solid.

Also got a call today from Free Seattle Radio who wants to do a May Day Broadcast from Odd Stock. I think this would be about the coolest thing, we'll see if it materializes. Show up and find out, everyone's invited and no act is too weird! I like this link thing, I think I'm going to keep it up:

Billboards: liberation, think defaced, hockney

4/14/99

Sleepy and grouchy today. Being back at work, while great, also sucked just because I am really unaccustomed to being around so many human beings. Also because I was out in a hot tub last night, which is where I would rather be today, or any day for that matter. Here's some links instead of further content:

Shopping carts: creative, abuse, images.

4/12/99

Okay, almost two whole days without a fever! Now if I could quit coughing long enough to breathe normally I would consider myself cured. I headed out to the supermarket today after realizing that all I'd had to eat in the last week was soup, orange juice, english muffins and bananas. These were all provided by my excellent friends for whom I am eternally grateful. Or at least grateful until I forget what being sick was like and start to take them for granted again....

I still stayed home from work today and did all those nutty things I have had on various back burners since the beginning of time: pay AAA dues, get 3K back from phone company, get cat hair out from under bookshelf [gee, and I wonder why I've been coughing so much], recycle seven empty soup cans. Actually I think I just thought about getting most of that other stuff done and stayed in and played Frogger instead. I know these aracade emulators are wicked and probably illegal [or else why can I only find ROMs at Taiwanese ftp sites?] but they're better than TV, right...?

4/10/99

Thank god I am feeling somewhat better. My temperature has stayed below 101 all day today which means I think I can make a guest appearance at my brunch tomorrow. While I've been home with too much time on my hands, I got my referer log working so I can see what links people follow to get to jessamyn.com. I can also tell what searches people performed to arrive at my site. Some of my favorites to date: naked pictures of mom, insane poetry, love juice photos, puny picture, and realdoll. And that's just today!

4/9/99

Sick people are funny as hell sometimes. At least I am. I have this great bank where I can pay all my bills online. Usually I think this is really cool and timesaving and whatever. Until.... until I tried to pay bills with a 103 degree fever. Instead of writing Working Assets a check for 34.09, I accidentally wrote them one for $3409.00. Whoops! They were very nice when I explained the error to them -- my favorite thing about Working Assets is that their customer service reps talk to you just like real people -- and I think I caught the error before they'd even gotten my check anyhow. Make mental note: stay the hell in bed and away from the computer until fever is below 100.

4/8/99

So this was going to be the entry where I railed against reproductive technology, specifically cervical caps, for only coming in four sizes none of which fits me. A lot of people complain about going to the OBGYN doc, but I don't really mind it at all, especially since I found out they have a specially heated drawer now where they keep the speculums.

Anyhow, I was going to write all about that but I've been sick as a dog since I got back from the doctor. Oh the irony! It's been that bad kind of 102 degree fever, aches & pains, creepy dreams, lack of appetite and not wanting or being able to do anything but basically lie in bed and read [if I'm lucky] or watch TV [if I'm not]. The fact that I can type this would seem to indicate that I'm improving but I'm heading back to the docs today just to be on the safe side. If there's anyone in the neighborhood who wants to bring me some juice, I'd sure appreciate it.

Fever hit 104 today which I thought was a temperature reserved only for children. Called my doc & she prescribed some antibiotics just to be on the safe side and told me to keep making sure I can bend my neck [ruling out spinal meningitis]. My bedside table looks like this: tissues, glass of water, cough drops, cough medicine, tylenol's generic equivalent, aspirin [apparently you can play them off of eachother somehow], bananas [the antibiotics make you throw up otherwise, ain't medicine great?], lip balm, part of a chocolate bear, thermometer, magazines, book, remote control. I think the reason that folks watch so much TV when they're sick is that everyone looks so freakin' healthy on TV [eating disorders aside]. Except the FOX network's World's Creepiest Car Chase show, they don't look too healthy on that one.

4/4/99

In a truly odd case of synchronicity, I am depositing checks that correspond to five of the six jobs I currently work at. None are for more than $240 and the largest check is payment for work I did in October of 1997 -- darned freelancing. My excellent credit union with the free online bill-paying is clear across the state in Spokane [and they seem to have changed their eligibility requirements to specifically disinclude slackers like myself who don't need home or car loans and live in the Big City] so I dilligently write "for deposit only" on every one of my checks like my Mom used to and put them in the mail and cross my fingers.

4/3/99

It is a weird week for me when I find out that I have rats in my house in Vermont and rats in my house here [on the other side of the steel door, I am not alarmed] within three days of eachother.

Set your clocks ahead tonight. I don't know about you, but I feel like I can't really spare the hour this time around.

4/2/99

3Com -- the Palm Pilot folks -- have a ridiculous ad campaign featuring scantily clad models hawking their handheld computers. Last week Jason, the genius behind Osil8 did a very funny parody of these ads. 3Com got pissed and behaved like a bunch of defensive spoiled children. Jason took his site down and yet it still lives. I'm doing my part to keep the web safe for anticapitalist nudity. Grab some naked ladies of your own and join the fun.